Consent is the hot topic at the moment. From politics to family violence, rape within our teenage community and students speaking out at schools.
Unfortunately for many people, consent is ignored or refused.
Consent goes far beyond saying yes once or at the start of a sexual experience. Consent is important before every touch, no matter if you are in a long term relationship, intoxicated, married, or a young child at the doctor. You may have said yes before, you may be in the middle of sex and change your mind. You can still say no and sex should stop immediately.
If sex is painful, stop, if you are not feeling safe, stop, if you are feeling uncomfortable, stop, if you have too much on your mind, stop, if you are having sex for the other person, stop, if you are having sex because you are scared, stop, if you are having sex because you are worried they may end the relationship, stop, if you don’t want to do certain behaviours or acts, stop!
Perhaps ask yourself these questions:
Do I want to? If the answer is yes this means you are consensual.
Am I willing to? If you are willing to this means you are compliant but may change your mind.
Everything else is a no.
You have the right to say no and be respected in this decision.
If you feel you cannot say no or are forced into doing something you do not want to do or are uncomfortable doing this is abuse and against the law in any relationship.
All genders need to understand this concept.
No physical harm will come from stopping sex once it has started. Yes you may feel frustrated and disappointed. However, continuing to have sex and doing acts you don’t feel comfortable with or that hurt can cause long term psychological and physical harm.
Please watch this excellent video to demonstrate what consent is and what it absolutely is not. For those with teenagers this is a crucial video to watch, perhaps for many adults out there too unfortunately (warning there is some language at the start of the video).
‘Consent is as simple as tea’!
So keep sex simple, stay within your comfort zone, be honest with yourself and your partner, listen to your body and most of all have fun!